This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
