god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's just like the Real World with babies
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
