I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
