i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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