Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
