I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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