I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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