He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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