Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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