After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
