Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
