no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
