was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
