On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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