Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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