I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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