Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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