do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
