i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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