If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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