I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is wine microwaveable?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
