Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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