I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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