Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
