North Korea, Best Korea!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
