obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
