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• (904): View more from Florida

  Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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• (845): View more from New York

  no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

  (516): View more from New York

  You wear Armani Exchange.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

  Fav 23 3886 2057

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat

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