Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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