Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

Fav 22 924 1687
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

Fav 25 1228 3023
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

Fav 43 9790 1010
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

Fav 16 1206 4866
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

Fav 10 3868 1918
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.

Fav 4 2970 990
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

Fav 10 3836 1034
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.

Fav 1 513 697
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.

Fav 0 270 73
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT