come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.