Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Its part of my fall instant classic line.

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  (515): I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot. (407): Its part of my fall instant classic line. http://tfl.nu/v43i
  Replies (13) Good night (3568) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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  (616): Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy. http://tfl.nu/q0bl
  Replies (8) Good night (3054) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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  (334): I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/qbrz
  Replies (10) Good night (648) Bad night (3887)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

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  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
  Replies (19) Good night (861) Bad night (3963)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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  (504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd
  Replies (75) Good night (5409) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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  (757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e
  Replies (15) Good night (5734) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.

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  (405): Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable. http://tfl.nu/luso
  Replies (16) Good night (1133) Bad night (2281)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1653) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.

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  (610): pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco. http://tfl.nu/n13q
  Replies (12) Good night (2259) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice

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  (949): I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice http://tfl.nu/cwbs
  Replies (11) Good night (1471) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs

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  (903): On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs http://tfl.nu/pggr
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List

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  (405): Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List http://tfl.nu/9eia
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

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  (270): I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester." http://tfl.nu/tgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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  (414): Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie" http://tfl.nu/mcag
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (284)

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