no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.