I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
