Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
