So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize