just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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