..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
