What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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