Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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