That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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