mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
