She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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