That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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