I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
