I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize