Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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