Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
