There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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