he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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