Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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