My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
