She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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