Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
FUCK WHALES
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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