Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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