Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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