who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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