Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
