a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
