it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
