Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
