I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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