Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
