Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
