I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
