you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
